Friends are the Family You Choose For Yourself! - December 14, 2012

"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."


We arrived at home after the long drive from the hospital. Dad picked up my meds at Walgreens and my sister was there. I was pretty much completely out of it from the pain and all the meds. I always come in my backdoor at my house. To be honest I have two front doors and I do not have a key to either of them, so the back is the only option. Slowly up the few stairs, looking for my boys, and I see the most beautiful site. A Christmas tree decorated in all pink!...my girlfriends WE bought me a real tree and decorated it. I can't begin to tell you how happy I was and how quickly the tears were falling. It took some time for things to set in, but then I was filled in on all that had happened while I was gone. Even sweeter than the tree they decorated with the intent that it could all just be thrown away and cause little work for me.

I have always been a real tree person. I love the act of getting the tree, smelling the tree, vacuuming the needles, etc. I know it isn't good that I take a tree that has been cut down, but I love it for the time that I have it. Sadness came early when I realized that my surgery would be so close to Christmas and I knew that I could not be responsible for all the traditions from years past. I really don't care for Christmas, but I love the dinner I make, the tree, the coziness of the house, my girls night in holiday pajama party, etc. This tree from my amazing friends touched my heart in so many ways. I'd leave it up forever if I could.

Didn't they do a WONDERFUL job!?! All different pink ribbons.

So pretty!!

LOVE these girls!  :)

I guess I should explain how the tree came in to play. I am confident that I will mess up part of the story (blame it on the morphine), but I will try to do it justice. For weeks, maybe longer, my TM Martial Arts WE had been making the plan to do a bedroom makeover of my house while I was staying at the hospital for my surgery. Bridget was organizing the whole thing and working with Stephanie and the girls to make it happen. My TMMA WE donated money to cover the cost of everything that needed to be done. Cindi has been asking odd questions about my bedroom for weeks, but I didn't think much about it. I am NOT good at decorating and it causes anxiety. I bought a house that has great details in the wood and stained glass windows so there hasn't been a lot of things done. My bedroom has been the same since I "decorated" it in 1994 when I moved to my house...that means that I was young and clueless. The paneled room is half painted in yellowish and half wall papered in bad pale pink wallpaper...all ugly! It is just 10 X 12 so you would think it would be an easy task to take on over the years, but I'd rather cook or bake than tackle a home project. Cupcakes over cracks in the walls! So...my group of girlfriends worked with my parents to get the keys to my house and embarked on a decorating journey that didn't go as planned. Gina arrived first and started removing stuff from my bedroom. Steph, Kim, Kris, Jenny, and Rayna arrived later with paint in hand and realized that they all bit off more than they could chew. It wasn't as simple as a gallon of paint. They called Cindi who was at the hospital with me and the plan to decorate had to be aborted. They could have painted but they were not prepared for construction. So Cindi suggested that they go get me a real tree and decorate it. Something simple that would not cause me to have to take it all apart in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, decorating was put to the side with the intent that they all would come back another time to help and Bridget recruited a couple of AMAZING guys to donate their time and help with the construction. Here is the note that was in my bedroom when I parents helped me walk through the house to see the tree and bedroom. It truly is overwhelming to digest the kindness and generosity of others.

These are the two laminated posters that were on my bed when I returned home.
Bridget and  TMMA WE are AMAZING!

The joy of the homecoming was soon interrupted by vomiting. No fun! Between the painkillers, morphine, pain, and the drive home with my "responsible driver" my body decided to reject all the fun and force me to rest. The pain is impressive and the key to controlling the pain is to do my best to stay ahead of it and take painkillers before the pain gets out of control. Not an easy task when the painkillers are not strong enough.
Mom is staying with me for a few days to help with what I may need. I am so lucky to have her. What a whirlwind these past few days have been. Ideally, all of the cancer is now gone, I'll be perky forever, and I won't have to deal with cancer again. Granted, it is definitely not an ideal world but one can dream. As I went to bed I realized that pictures were hanging in odd places on the walls and other things were not where I left them. I couldn't help but smile and think of my friends.

Please let me control the pain, get comfortable, and control the emotions that I am currently feeling.

XOXO,

S

Henry may have missed me but he was extra happy to see "his" blanket return from the hospital.

Are you or someone you know fighting cancer? If so the American Cancer Society is here to help. Call 800.227.2345 or visit cancer.org for more information.

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