The Sixth Time is a Charm...I Hope! - October 25, 2012

"She is clothed in strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come."  - Proverbs 31.25 (and written in chalk on my patio when I arrived home)

Lucky #6. Ever since I was a little girl I considered 6 to be my "lucky number". There's no real science to the decision. I was born on the 6th of the month. So if I had to pick a number between one and ten...I'd pick 6. If I could pick the number on the back of a jersey I would pick 6. If I played the Lottery 6 would be in my picks. Well, here I am with my 6th round of chemo! This better be my "lucky number"! My body and my mind can't take much more. So 6 it is!

I didn't sleep much last night. Probably just as much the steroids as the anticipation. I've been counting down the days. Everything has been done to keep me on track for making the last round of chemo and getting into surgery in December. I've taken extra shots, avoided germs, used more handy wipes than the average two year old, rested, rested, rested...even told some white lies of "I'm feeling great" or "no, I haven't had a fever" along the way so that I didn't set off too many alarms that would cause set backs.

I opened the emotional day with a post on Facebook.

" Good morning! It is hard to believe that my journey has taken me to this day…the day that I will receive my last round chemo. In my heart I think it will be the last in my lifetime, but in my mind I feel that it will simply be a break in ...

a poison that will someday enter my body again down a long road and hopefully years from now. I did not sleep last night because I’m nervous about the day, but more importantly my rest did not come easily because I was counting my blessings and thinking about so many of you. I never realized the impact that would be made by sharing my journey through the blog and through social media. I am honored and humbled that you read, cry, and laugh with me. Friends from near and far took the time to write hundreds of emails, “like” posts and pictures, and send kind, thoughtful cards and gifts. Many that included prayers, positive words, and encouragement. What started as a way to take some weight off my shoulders grew into a process that filled my heart to the brim and continues to do so daily. You all have helped keep my spirits up and my smile bright. You gave me faith in a world that often moves too quickly and forgets what is important in life. No matter where our journeys take us, not matter the hand that we are dealt, there are kind people everywhere that will help carry us along the path.

I’m anxious about today. I know that it will be filled with emotions, it will be filled with my amazing family and some close friends in person…it will also be filled with thoughts of each of you. Many have said “stay strong”, “you’re so brave”, “thinking about you today”…PLEASE never underestimate the power of your words that encourage me. I don’t know where to start with saying “thank you”, but I do know that you have made this journey easier for me and my family. And for that I will be forever grateful.

Today is just the end of chapter one and there are still months of figuring all this stuff out, surgeries to be had, and weeks of recovery. Please keep the prayers and thoughts coming. And do me a few favors along the way…tell people you love them daily, give big, meaningful hugs, share your life with others…three things that I was not good at doing, but three things that you have all taught me so well. Be gentle with others because you never know the battles that they may be fighting. And be good to YOU!

Thank you for being a part of my WE. Please continue to read the blog and share it with anyone that you think it may help.

Love, hugs, and cupcakes!!! That’s right…today is going to be a CUPCAKE kind of day!
Take time to enjoy today…I certainly will!

XOXO!!!"

My phone keeps going off all morning and continues most of the day...hundreds of texts, emails, and Facebook posts wishing me well for the last round. These same people who have offered me words of encouragement, pep talks, prayers, and laughs over the past four months. All of you who I don't regret sharing my journey with...

I had an email from Mom when I woke up:

"Hey, I found a pink toaster at Target, we will stop and look at it tomorrow. (Last chemo present). love you"

I responded:

"Wow...doesn't everyone want a toaster for their last chemo present?!?!? Is that like silver for a 50th wedding anniversary?? Is there protocol for this?

My next email is:

"Let's skip the toaster and save up the money for the camera that I want!" I think my parents are getting tired of hearing about the camera that I dream about, but you can't blame a girl from trying!

Today will be the last day that I pack up my car, head to my Mom's house, stop by Whole Foods, and then walk into chemo...well, at least that is my plan. Trust me, you don't want to be the person that gives me the news that a plan is not going to work. I schedule things out in advanced, I get my mind set, and I prepare for execution of details...don't mess with my plans! The morning is filled with emotions and a few tears. Maybe because I'm tired, but also because I'm ready for this chapter to end.

What to wear?? I've gone with chemo comfy for the past few months. I had my "chemo pants" from LuLu Lemon via Bill and Suzanne (most comfy) and then I moved to regular Walmart sweats when it was too cold for capris. Today I decided on my hot pink skinny jeans! That's right...adding a little sass to my final trip to Wheaton. (OK, not really final because I'll have doctor appointments there, but final in regards to chemo). I considered adding on some heels, but my neuropathy would have nothing to do with that. Skinny jeans, a cute pink scarf, and a black top are about as fancy as I can get these days. And let's face it, I've gained 15 lbs over the past few months...skinny jeans should probably not be in my wardrobe, on my body, or in my closet...BUT they are stretchy!

Mom is ready and we make our final trip with the same routine that we have created over the past months. Crumbs Cupcakes (from Kelly & Kristin), soft pretzels at Whole Foods, bakery for Mom, a pink sock monkey (he's new from Cyndi), gifts from Bonita, Home Cut Donuts!, etc. There is something about a routine with cancer that makes me feel like I have things under control. If I am doing my routine then I am fighting the disease. This same control issue will start to cause challenges tomorrow when I stop a routine and basically stop doing anything tangible to fight the disease...I'll touch on that at another time.

We went through the basics when we arrived. Temperature, weight (UGH!), blood pressure, etc. Then I waited for Doctor Robinson to come in. She is excited as I am. Actually, it seemed like all of the staff were excited for me...or they realized that I brought a lot of food! I think it may be a combination of both because I met a few new faces today! Dr. Robinson and I went through our usual conversation, I asked a ton of questions, she gave answers... Then as I moved to the table for the physical exam I mentioned that the I'd feel so much better if the neuropathy would stop. THE BREAKS CAME TO A SCREECHING HALT!!! Dr. Robinson stated "You can't get chemo if the neuropathy is this bad. It may cause permanent damage." I'm sure she saw my jaw hit the floor. HUH?!?! When was that ever mentioned? That throws a wrench in my plan! Not getting the last round...lucky #6 is NOT an option! Damn it...why did I open my big mouth? Why didn't I simply say "I feel fantastic" and move on?

Here goes everything! I now need to work my magic and use the negotiation skills that NHO Procurement taught me...(shout out to Steve, Ian, and Michelle!). There is no way that I am not getting this last round of chemo. I've convinced myself that it is necessary for me to live. I've negotiated with myself over the past 3 weeks that have kicked my ass. Round 6 is ON! Plus, Stephanie would be more disappointed than me because this is her day to come to chemo! Dr. Robinson and I had a long conversation, talked about statistics, talked about risks, talked about my body. Options were weighed and in the end Round 6 is a GO! Finally, she did the physical exam of my breast and lymph nodes. She is unable to feel any noticeable amounts of cancer. That's right...it appears to be working! Going through hell again has been worth it. BUT I still need to see it in writing. I need scans to have peace of mind. We then discussed the scans that we feel are needed...bone scan, CT scan and breast MRI. Simple tests that I will schedule today and hopefully have the opportunity to complete soon.

When we go into the cancer center I am happy to see that "my chair" is open...the routine is continuing. I have my space, Judy is there for her Herceptin, and my friends and family start arriving. I have my largest entourage to date. It feels like I am hosting a party! Food, water, pictures, presents. I had explained to my family/friend that we needed to be cautious with our celebrations. The reality is that I am a lucky one today...but others are no place close to the end of their journey and some will have journeys that do not end on a positive note. I don't want to upset anyone when they are fighting this damn disease!

Much of the day can be told best with pictures...after all a picture says a thousand words...

My family...my everything!

Me and Steph..."bitch stole my look" and holds a big piece of my heart!  I'm happy she didn't show up in the pink skinny jeans...cause I would have looked extra chunky!  We've been through the good, the bad, and the ugly together...I'd take away some of the pain along the way, but I wouldn't change our friendship.

Me and Dr. Robinson...isn't she cute and tiny!!  She actually ate a full cupcake today! 
I'm not sure where she put it, but she loved it!

Me and Jenn Heart.  He blood counts are low and she shouldn't have been out and about,
but she came to by last round of chemo to help us celebrate! 
Please keep Jenn in your thoughts and prayers as she continues on with chemo.

Me and Gina...one of the funniest people I know that also holds a huge piece of my heart. 
We have been through so much together.  I'm a lucky girl!  ;)

Me and Christine!!  She came over during her lunch hour at work.  Not sure how she is walking after the marathon a few weeks ago.  One of the many people that I simply do not know how to thank enough!

Cute cupcake stuff made by Curly Girl from my sister!  Love them and LOVE her!

Me and Judy!  She had first pick of any cupcake she wanted!  She picked a good one!

Me and a cute little sock monkey from Cyndi Roark!  She is so creative!

I've said it once and I'll say it a million times...I have wonderful people in my life. Many by text, others on Facebook, some by email, some I may never actually meet, and great ones in person!! We celebrated today! We laughed, cried, hung out, ate too much, and enjoyed each other's company. Chemo is behind me, but on the days of chemo I felt more love than ever. I was surrounded by my family and my closest friends. One Thursday and five Wednesdays, since the beginning of July, have been spent getting poison into my body, impacting my mind, slowing me down, making me ill, and fighting a disease. BUT those same days were spent understanding the true impact of love in my life. I have always said that cancer was the best and worst thing that happened to me. Life may never give me answers to why it has happened twice, but my diagnosis with cancer has given me so many answers over the years. I'm still rough around the edges. I still don't let a lot of people get too close to me. I still guard my heart like it is Stateville. I'm still growing and learning each day. I can't say that I think there will be an end to this journey. Surgery is scheduled for 12-12-12, radiation may still happen, healing and getting my life back to "normal" will take time...and the lessons learned will continue to appear in years to come, my relationships will get stronger, and more challenges will be dealt. When it comes down to things in life it all comes down to how we react to what hand you are dealt. Some days I think I'm playing poker and the rest of the world is playing Go Fish. Life doesn't go as planned. Curve balls are thrown but if you have the right people on your team you can face anything head on! I'll never question the people on my team.

Bed came early tonight. A storm rolled in quickly, thunder, lightening, and heavy rain...looking back it was a prelude to my coming hours and days...

XOXO,

Sue

Balloons from Stephanie to celebrate the end of chemo at Fiamme Pizzeria Naperville.. http://www.fiammepizza.com/home/

Most of my ROCKS during my two battles with breast cancer!  Gina, Kimmie, Me, Steph, Mom, and Chris. 
Not sure what I would do without these ladies!  Happy that Kimmie was able to join us for a late lunch! 

Me and Rebekah (Bekah) at her restaurant in Naperville.  She was an amazing host and she had me crying for this picture.

OMG..celebration desserts!   I think I ate most of the one on the left!  AHHHHMMMMAAAZZZING!!  http://www.fiammepizza.com/home/

Bekah making up for making me cry!!

How cool is this!!!  We made it home shortly before it started storming and my back patio had been decorated.  Thank you, Kris Wruk Walker & Jennifer Kirkpatrick!  You are both great talents and amazing people!  I cried when I saw what you had done.  We pulled out a ladder to take pictures and I sent a text to some friends to come see your work of art.  The rain came and washed it away before Steph and the boys were able to pull in the driveway, but the rain did not wash away the gratitude that I feel for your hard work!  ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!  XOXO.  Missing my TMMA WE!

View from the top of the ladder.  Dad did not like how high I was going.  :)

LOVE THIS!!!  And LOVE you girls!

There are SO MANY things that cancer CANNOT DO!!  Thank you for the reminder!

Most of the flowers that I received over the past two days!  WOW...I had a vase or two in every room. 
Thank you all!  VERY thoughtful!

Bridget Wisz and her son stopped by with the beautiful cookies!  Too cute to eat, but it didn't stop me!!!  WOW! 
More love from my TMMA WE!!!

A closer look at the beautiful cookies!  Another talented person baking up smiles!  The detail was incredible!

My FAVORITE picture during this journey.  Meet Caelyn!  Could she be any cuter????  Um..NO!!  She's the daughter of Robyn Ward Curbis from my St. Francis Academy Days.  I'm not sure if it's her affinity to cupcakes that I love so much or the fact that we are sporting the same hairdo!  She watched me on Windy City Live...I'm sure she now has a crush on Ryan too!  Caelyn, do they make Carter's in big girl sizes?  You and you Mom make me smile!  XOXO

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This Truly is a HUMP Day...My Last Wednesday Before My Last Round of Chemo - October 24, 2012

"Kindness in words creates confidence.  Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.  Kindness in giving creates love."  - Lao Tzu

As we enter the last full week of October I prepare for my last round of chemo!  That's right...I've finally made it to round 6 and I am more than ready to have this chapter come to a close.  So many people say "it has gone really fast".  I promise you that it doesn't seem to go by quickly when it is happening to you.  The time between round 5 and round 6 seemed to stand still.  I've spent as many hours in bed as out of bed.  The last week was filled with fun and friends, but time did not move as rapidly as many think.  While life is going at a snail's pace, people in my life have not stopped rallying around me.  Cards, gifts, flowers, notes on Facebook, calls, texts, etc.  Everyone has been so very kind.  My heart overflows with love even when my body wants to give up and my mind can't remember what day it is.

I have a few busy days at work.  Conference call after conference call, projects due, and trying to cover all my bases before I go out for surgery.  I have high hopes of doing an extra 6 weeks of work during this time.  Then I won't leave projects undone or others responsible for things on my plate.  I'm probably trying to be more ambitious than I should, but I know that I will not have peace for weeks off of work if I can't settle my mind.  So I have to at least give it all a shot.  Unfortunately, my absence at work will cause others to have to pick up my slack.  My Catholic school girl guilt will have to take a rest!

Wednesday morning I head to the Loyola Homer location for my final blood draw.  Well, not really my final in life, but my final before chemo.  I stop and get Homecut donuts for the nurses that I will not see again. I guess the reality is that I hope I NEVER see them again.  Well, I wouldn't mind buying them a drink some day or running into them at Target, but I prefer to stay away from the cancer center!  Disappointment came quickly when I realized that Nurse Jacque would not be at my final chemo.  She's been with me since round 2.  She's been my steady person through this journey.  To add insult to injury, she is off tomorrow because she is heading to the Justin Beeber concert!  I think she's secretly excited about going to the show.  :)  She bought tickets for her daughter, Jenna.  I'm actually excited for the mother daughter team and their adventure.  Jenna has been planning her outfit for months and she will finally get to see The Beebs tonight.  In the true spirit of a young girl, Jenna truly believes that Justin will see her from the stage and they will live happily ever after.  Oh how I wish I still believed things like that.  Life would be so simple to be young again...simple worries about what to wear to a concert, screaming and going gaga over a teen heartthrob, having a crush, etc.  When did life get so complicated??

I stayed at the cancer center to make sure that my blood counts were not too low for tomorrow's treatment.  All the ladies from the back came out to wish me well.  Hugs from Jacque and Patty.  They looked at my pictures from Windy City Live and tried to pull the show up online.  We all laughed, chatted, and waited for my blood counts.  Finally, the results are in...drum roll please....ALL IS GOOD!  I am on track to get the 6th and final round.  My goodbyes are done and I head to work. 

Today included a few wonderful deliveries...a giant "cocktail" from some of my work WE at the ACS offices in Riverside and Chicago. 

"Cocktail" of flowers...almost as good as a dirty martini with blue cheese olives!

Homemade fig jam, napkins, and a little extra sparkle from Jenna of my Work WE.  I LOVE fig jam and cannot wait to taste it when my taste buds are back in line!  To eat it now would be my loss, so I will wait to enjoy every bit of it.  I can't stop thinking about a toasted baguette, fig jam, Gorgonzola, and honey...YUM!! 



A box of goodies that I can't wait to enjoy.  Thanks, Jenna!

 If life wasn't great enough already, Kristin and Kelly sent a fantastic delivery my way.  I was introduced to Crumbs earlier in the journey and I am over the moon to see a second delivery.  The gifts are a strange concept to me.  I hope you all know how much I appreciate your kindness, thoughts, and generosity.  Add a little chocolate to that and I'll owe you for life!  :)  I know my "thank you" notes are not going out fast enough and my writing is terrible because of the neuropathy, but please know that the gratitude I feel could never be expressed in words. 

BEST BOX EVER!!  Cancer brought these gems into my life.  So I guess cancer can't be all that bad...ok, who am I kidding! 

OMG...little works of art.  Cupcakes from Kelly and Kristin!  Great girls that I used to work with at ACS. 
We need a trip to Eno for wine!  Thanks, Ladies!  XOXO

I'm excited and nervous about tomorrow.  I've been waiting for this day for months, but I still have so many questions and concerns.  Plus, I know that the 6th round is going to be difficult on my body.  I just keep telling myself that it will all be over soon.  I keep telling myself that I am strong.  I keep doubting myself every moment.  Four rounds of chemo are protocol...six rounds of chemo better do the  trick!  The scary part is what will happen after tomorrow?  When will I find out if it all was worth it?  When will I find out if chemo actually worked?  To be honest I have prepared myself for the worst, but I hope and pray for the best.  How I wish I didn't over think everything!  Hundreds of questions and thoughts run through my brain, but the answers will not come soon enough.  I take notes of my questions and then try to put them on the back burner.

Eric and I go out to a quick dinner and then I came home to work and rest.  Time with Eric is easy.  He really doesn't ask questions and I can get away from cancer for a little while.  Part of me wishes that he would show interest in what is happening, but a bigger part of me likes that we don't really talk about it.  I guess I can't have it both ways.  Regardless, his friendship is a very important part of my life.

I started packing my "chemo bag" tonight.  I decided to change things up.  I didn't take the same bag that I have taken each time.  I left snacks and books behind.  The bag was full of stuff that we never used.  Maybe it is a symbol of all that has happened during this journey.  "Stuff" needs to be left behind.  Keep it simple.   Focus on who is important in my life.  Focus on moving forward...

Round 6 is just hours away...I'm excited, but nervous!  What exciting things does tomorrow have in store for you??

Be well...

XOXO,

Sue

Yikes....How Has It Been 30 Days Since I've Written a Blog??? - October 12 - 22, 2012

"I love my life and the ones in it!"

I've quickly realized that telling the story of my journey has helped me so much, but I have also realized that writing when you simply want to rest or don't have the energy to complete a thought is not easy.  The biggest question I have gotten lately is "why aren't you writing your blog?"  To be honest, I feel like I've lost the past month of my life.  It has been simply filled with work, rest, a little sleep, and a few interactions with friends.  The fifth round of chemo knocked me back a bit, but the sixth round completely kicked my butt.  I'll do my best to fill you in on some of the details that have taken place over the past 40 days...YIKES...has it really been that long since I've shared my journey?  There have been a few posts on Facebook, but the blog has been neglected.  I feel guilty, but such is life when you're fighting cancer.  To add insult to injury, I've lost some of my notes on my iPad calendar (no idea how that happened) and many things will have to be taken from memory.  Mind you, I have terrible chemo brain...so here goes nothing.  I think I'll write a little, but mostly share pictures that detail part of the journey...

I was feeling pretty well in mid October.  I was so busy living life, working, resting, and spending time with friends.  Blogging became a chore and that was never the intention, so I did not make it a priority.  I so wish I would have written a little something daily.  I think that would have helped me so much, but I can't go back and change things.  I guess I just wanted to live a life that seemed somewhat normal for a couple of weeks.  Then I was too sick and tired to write.  Cancer is a vicious circle when you are in the middle of treatment.  The cycle of feeling sick, feeling a little better, feeling pretty good, then feeling sick again has taken place in my life every three weeks.  As I get closer to the end of treatment the fatigue is growing by leaps and bounds.  I try to fight it, but then have to pay the price for days.  

Friends have always played a large part in my life. While I feel like I lost a lot of the last month because I spent so much of it in bed, I have tried to stay somewhat social when I had the energy to do so. I have had the privilege to spend some time with the Brien, Anne, and Will Sheahan over lunch in October.  Dinners/lunches with Gina, Kim, Cindi, Steph and their families. An afternoon with my grandma.  Shopping trips with Mom.  Breakfast, lunches, and dinners with Eric.  Lunch with my work team, etc. 

The week of October 14 was a really good week.  I was feeling strong for a lot of it.  It was a crazy, busy week with work and I had the opportunity to do a couple of things that were both work related, cancer related, and fun.  Tuesday night was spent at a Look Good...Feel Better class.  http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/  I've mentioned Jennifer Stempien Hart in previous posts.  Jenn and I went to high school together and she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, so we did the program together.  The website has a statement that rings true for so many women.  "Cancer can rob a woman of her energy, appetite, and strength.  But it doesn't have to take away her self-confidence."  Here's a description of the program from the website...


Look Good Feel Better is a non-medical, brand-neutral public service program that teaches beauty techniques to cancer patients to help them manage the appearance-related side effects of cancer treatment.  Look Good Feel Better group programs are open to all women with cancer who are undergoing chemotherapy, radiation, or other forms of treatment. In the United States alone, more than 700,000 women have participated in the program, which now offers 14,500 group workshops nationwide in more than 3,000 locations.  Thousands of volunteer beauty professionals support Look Good Feel Better. All are trained and certified by the Personal Care Products Council Foundation, the American Cancer Society, and the Professional Beauty Association | National Cosmetology Association at local, statewide, and national workshops. Other volunteer health care professionals and individuals also give their time to the program.

Basically, we went to the program, received a fantastic bag of makeup that is donated from companies across the country, and we learned how to apply makeup to help us look good and feel better.  I love that it is a program offered by the American Cancer Society...this means that I help make it happen.  I work to help women feel better about the situation that they are in.  I'm a girly girl, I like makeup, and I think I'm pretty good at it, but when faced with losing hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc...women can use this extra support.  WE had fun in the session, joked around, and enjoyed the evening.  It is great to know that a program like this exists and it is free to anyone facing the side effects of cancer.  Jenn doesn't wear makeup, had chemo during the day, and still came to the session. 

Look Good Feel Better kit that each woman  receives.

Some of the makeup in the kit.

My experience with Look Good...Feel Better (LGFB) came in handy later in the week.  As you mat remember I agreed to be the "model" for ACS and LGFB for Windy City Live.  That means I have agreed to have a before photo taken of me without makeup.  Clearly chemo is causing me to make CRAZY decisions.  I woke up extra early on Thursday, Oct. 18 and headed downtown Chicago to be on the morning tv show.  For those of you not in the Chicagoland area, Windy City Live (WCL) is the show that took over the 9 AM slot on ABC7 when Oprah went off the air.  A daytime talk show that focuses on all things Chicago, celebrities, pop news, etc.  There are two hosts and a variety of others that contribute to the entertainment.  Val and Ryan are the main hosts of the show.  Both have great energy and Ryan is adorable.   ACS has been offered the opportunity to have a small breast cancer segment on the show.  I was simply supposed to "model", but had the opportunity to speak.  Fortunately, I did not make a complete fool of myself while speaking, but the before photo is worse than any mug shot!  I really don't think that I look as badly as they made me look!  Well...I certainly hope that I don't!  I posted the link to the video on Facebook and everyone was so kind!  The running theme of comments revolved around Ryan and how handsome he is.  And many of you commented that he was "flirting with me".  He is VERY good at his job and he was very kind.  Ryan held the door open for me when I arrived...he saw me bald and without makeup.  I think he was shocked to see the transformation that took place when Traci did my makeup and Zara was added.  BUT I assure you that he was not flirting.  Oh how I wish flirting has happened in my life over the past 5 months.  I haven't had a date since May!!!  Bald, cancer, and dating don't seem to be a great combination in my life.  Here is a link to the video...IGNORE the before photo!!!  http://windycitylive.com/episodes/Making-Strides-in-Breast-Cancer/8851740

And here are some pictures from the show. 

ACS volunteers and staff with the Windy City Live team after the show. 




Getting interviewed by Ryan!





Ann getting interviewed by Ryan.

Ryan came out to the lobby to talk with us after the show.  I had already taken off Zara and put on my scarf to

walk over to the office.  He was so kind and offered to wait while I put my wig back on. 

My wig is crooked because I put it on by looking in the window in the lobby.  :) 

He gave me a big hug and wished me luck with everything.

 

Some of my Work WE!!!  Team lunch and outing.  Staci's last day with us...I hate goodbyes.  After getting to the city early for WCL I headed home early to miss traffic because I was exhausted...several accidents on the roads made it a 2.5 hour drive.  :(

I've done more this week than I have in a month!  Long days, late nights, etc.  The fun isn't over though!  Saturday has been planned for months.  We have a big group heading to the Northwestern vs Nebraska game.  I've been looking forward to this for months.  The date was planned around my chemo.  Cindi and I looked at the dates to see where we thought a game would work and Oct. 20 was chosen.  Last year we went with just the girls from college, but they are bringing all the husbands this year and I am bringing Eric.  It is a crisp and beautiful fall day.  Gina, Jim, Kim, Bryan, Eric and I head to Evanston to meet up with Jeff and Cindi who have set up the tailgate...we leave Joliet a little after 8 AM...for a late afternoon game.  I am nervous about the day before I even leave my house.  It's going to be long day and I am afraid that I will not have the energy to make it.  I went to bed extra early last night, but that doesn't mean I will be able to last for 12 - 15 hours with the gang.  BUT we had so much fun.  The Cliff Notes version...bloody mary's, more Nebraska fans than Northwestern fans, a see of red, purple skinny jeans on me and Cindi, cold in the shade but beautiful in the sun, Garrett's popcorn, Jim almost got arrested because of Garrett's popcorn (Chicago mix, of course), Emma cheering, my energy died in the 3rd quarter, neuropathy in my feet made it hard to walk, Cats lost :(, Zara came off when we got back to the car, Three Floyd's beers....basically a great day with wonderful friends.  Memories that will last a lifetime.  Girlfriends from college that have become family!  I was pretty much down for the count when we got back to the car, but I am so thankful that Cindi and Jeff planned a fun day of football and friends.  Almost 23 years of being friends with these amazing women!  How did I get so lucky?  Wait...how did we get so old???  It doesn't seem like we can be that many years out of college...YIKES!!!

Mary and Kim...Go CATS!

Bryan, Jim, Eric, and Mary...post "Garrett Gate"

Gina & Eric...Go CATS!



Me and Jim...Go CATS!



Gina saying a prayer that Jim doesn't get arrested...Go CATS!

Cindi, Me, Mary, Gina, and Kimmie...look at all that purple!  Go CATS!
Do I dare admit that I didn't recognize myself in my wig?  YIKES!  

After the game.  Finally got the gang together for a group picture.  Sad loss for the Cats!
Ken & Kerri, Jim & Gina, Chris & Mary, Jeff & Cindi, Bryan & Kim, Eric and me.

Go Cats!

Emma cheering!  GO CATS!

Sunday afternoon is spent cheering the boys on at flag football.  It is probably one of the last nice weekends of fall.  I'm tired and my feet hurt, but I LOVE this time of year.

Maxwell playing flag football in his pink socks for breast ancer awareness.

Jackson watching Maxwell play football.

Sunday evening is spent celebrating Emma's 11th birthday.  The kids get taller by the second, have bigger feet than I do, and make me laugh.  I may not be blessed with children of my own, but I am blessed with many great kids in my life.  They teach me so much!

Making a birthday wish.

A girl and her cake!

I hope you have a great week!

XOXO,

S

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So Get Your Pumpkins in for a Mammogram! October 8 - 11, 2012

"All we have in this world is hope and faith..."

October 8 - 11, 2012

I'd love to have some exciting things to write about and some great things happening in my life, but the truth is this is a tough week.  Each morning starts with a 9 AM shot, followed by work, followed by resting in bed, and then a little sleep.  Yep, I'm living the life!

Monday - 9 AM shot from Dad.  I was up most of the night in pain.  My hips, knees, shoulders, and legs are hurting at all times.  So much pain that I have a hard time getting things done today.  Fortunately I am off of work.  I just have time to think about the discomfort.  In my mind I am counting down the days until my next treatment and I have convinced myself that I will magically feel better immediately after my sixth and final round.  Who the heck am I trying to kind.  I only left the house to get a massage to attempt to relieve some of the pain.  Kim did an amazing job and even had a cute gift waiting when I arrived. One great thing that I saw today was a picture of Christine's marathon singlet on Facebook.  Awesome!!

Kim decided to give Audrey a pink "wig".  What a great gift and I LOVE the movie!

Christine's marathon singlet!  You are AMAZING!!!

Tuesday - 9 AM shot from Dad.  The majority of the day is spent working.  My discomfort is still there, but gets better each day.  I only left the house to run and get brats hand delivered from Michigan.  Some of the Papesh's were there over the weekend and they brought me home some of my favorites!  Since I didn't get to have them in Michigan, this is the next best thing.  Thanks for thinking of me Chris!  Work is full of additional stress today.  My boss (and friend) has announced that she has taken another position within ACS.  I knew the change was coming, but it is still sad to see it in writing.  The organization continues to make changes and recently these changes are impacting my life.  It should be an interesting few weeks.  I've worked with Staci for the majority of my years at ACS.  We will still work together in some ways, but not as closely as we have over time.  Mom and Dad came over for dinner.  Nothing fancy, but some quality time together.

Wednesday - 9 AM shot from Dad.  Are you seeing a pattern here?  My days are like Groundhog Day.  I had a slow start to today.  I'm simply feeling tired and sore, so I spent a little longer in bed than usual this morning.  I literally spend more time in bed than I spend time out of bed these days.  It is a pretty sad statement, but at least I have a comfy bed!  My day was spent working.  There are so many projects that I need to pull together before I am off work for surgery.  Some days I don't feel like I know where to start, but today was a good flow of a day at work.  I did get a fantastic delivery.  I've joked so much about a Bedazzler and now I have my very own!!  Thank you Today!  Miss you so much and appreciate your thoughts and prayers!  I can't wait to figure out what I will Bedazzle first...I'm thinking Henry may be a good canvas to add a little sparkle to!  The evening is spent resting and texting with friends...Hensley and Stephanie in PA.  Always great to catch up and see what is going on in their lives.  Stephanie ended the text with "All we have in this world is hope and faith..."  My response was "You're right, but I like a solid plan to add to hope and faith ;)"

I love that the box of the Bedazzler hasn't changed since I was a kid.  I'm a little intimidated by it and I don't know what to bedazzle!  Thanks, Toby!  XOXO

Thursday - 9 AM shot from Dad.  I was up and working bright and early today.  It seems like a pattern that it takes me about a week to really recover from a round of chemo.  The addition of all the shots is slowing down the recovery process, but I'm feeling pretty well today.  My IM is blinking pretty early and I am asked to call in to work.  I always get nervous when someone says "call me", "we need to talk", etc.  That pit in my stomach drops and I worry that I am in trouble.  Then I spend a few minutes trying to think of reasons why I may be in trouble.  It is a vicious cycle that I blame on my Catholic guilt!  This call in to Ann was for a good reason.  She's asked me to join her and other from ACS on Windy City Live next week.  Windy City Live took over the "Oprah spot" when she went off the air and they have a large following in Chicago.  I'm supper excited because I have the show on every day and because I think the main host is adorable.  They all just seem fun and down to earth on the show.  So, I agree to join her next Thursday.  When I hang up the phone I think it all through and realize that I have just agreed to show my bald melon without makeup for all of the Chicagoland area to see.  YIKES!!!  I may never get a date again.  My second thought is...How the heck do I drop 20 lbs in a week!  Seriously, I have put on so much weight with chemo, my dark circles are worse than Uncle Fester's, and I will need to shine my melon.  Destined to spend my life alone!!!   I guess I've put it all out here on the blog, so what's so bad about TV???  What am I thinking.  Fortunately, it is a beautiful Fall day in IL.  My favorite time of year.  Cindi is in New Mexico at the balloon festival and sent this amazing picture.  I really need to travel.  Finances have kept me close to home, but there are so many amazing places to see.

Balloon Festival

Funniest part about today would be Kevin's post on Facebook!  He's a HUGE Chicago Bears' fan!  I mean HUGE!  I didn't see his post from this past Sunday until today when someone "liked" it.  Here's what this past Sunday's post said.  It is the same day that we were all at Strides:

"Today is not only Bears Sunday, but it's Sue's Sunday too! So in honor of both of them, I thought I'd sing two fight songs today! So here we go... a one, a two, and one-two-three... Bear down...Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to Victory, Bear down...Chicago Bears, put up a fight with the might so fearlessly.. we'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation!

 Bear down... Chicago Bears... and let them know why you're wearing the crown, you're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears.. BEAR DOWN!! Now for Susie... Bear down... Susie Ward, make every day clear the way to Victory, Bear down...Susie Ward, put up a fight with the might so fearlessly...we'll never forget the way you thrilled your WE club with your Determination! Bear down...Susie Ward... and let them know why you're wearing Zara, you're the pride and joy of Joliet, Susie Ward.. BEAR DOWN!! (bump, bump!) Now let's cheer for two victories today people! And that deserves a big time HEY NOW!!"

I hope you all are having a GREAT week.  Life is too short not to.

XOXO,

S