I've quickly realized that telling the story of my journey has helped me so much, but I have also realized that writing when you simply want to rest or don't have the energy to complete a thought is not easy. The biggest question I have gotten lately is "why aren't you writing your blog?" To be honest, I feel like I've lost the past month of my life. It has been simply filled with work, rest, a little sleep, and a few interactions with friends. The fifth round of chemo knocked me back a bit, but the sixth round completely kicked my butt. I'll do my best to fill you in on some of the details that have taken place over the past 40 days...YIKES...has it really been that long since I've shared my journey? There have been a few posts on Facebook, but the blog has been neglected. I feel guilty, but such is life when you're fighting cancer. To add insult to injury, I've lost some of my notes on my iPad calendar (no idea how that happened) and many things will have to be taken from memory. Mind you, I have terrible chemo brain...so here goes nothing. I think I'll write a little, but mostly share pictures that detail part of the journey...
I was feeling pretty well in mid October. I was so busy living life, working, resting, and spending time with friends. Blogging became a chore and that was never the intention, so I did not make it a priority. I so wish I would have written a little something daily. I think that would have helped me so much, but I can't go back and change things. I guess I just wanted to live a life that seemed somewhat normal for a couple of weeks. Then I was too sick and tired to write. Cancer is a vicious circle when you are in the middle of treatment. The cycle of feeling sick, feeling a little better, feeling pretty good, then feeling sick again has taken place in my life every three weeks. As I get closer to the end of treatment the fatigue is growing by leaps and bounds. I try to fight it, but then have to pay the price for days.
Friends have always played a large part in my life. While I feel like I lost a lot of the last month because I spent so much of it in bed, I have tried to stay somewhat social when I had the energy to do so. I have had the privilege to spend some time with the Brien, Anne, and Will Sheahan over lunch in October. Dinners/lunches with Gina, Kim, Cindi, Steph and their families. An afternoon with my grandma. Shopping trips with Mom. Breakfast, lunches, and dinners with Eric. Lunch with my work team, etc.
The week of October 14 was a really good week. I was feeling strong for a lot of it. It was a crazy, busy week with work and I had the opportunity to do a couple of things that were both work related, cancer related, and fun. Tuesday night was spent at a Look Good...Feel Better class. http://lookgoodfeelbetter.org/ I've mentioned Jennifer Stempien Hart in previous posts. Jenn and I went to high school together and she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, so we did the program together. The website has a statement that rings true for so many women. "Cancer can rob a woman of her energy, appetite, and strength. But it doesn't have to take away her self-confidence." Here's a description of the program from the website...
Look Good Feel Better is a non-medical, brand-neutral public service program that teaches beauty techniques to cancer patients to help them manage the appearance-related side effects of cancer treatment. Look Good Feel Better group programs are open to all women with cancer who are undergoing chemotherapy, radiation, or other forms of treatment. In the United States alone, more than 700,000 women have participated in the program, which now offers 14,500 group workshops nationwide in more than 3,000 locations. Thousands of volunteer beauty professionals support Look Good Feel Better. All are trained and certified by the Personal Care Products Council Foundation, the American Cancer Society, and the Professional Beauty Association | National Cosmetology Association at local, statewide, and national workshops. Other volunteer health care professionals and individuals also give their time to the program.
Basically, we went to the program, received a fantastic bag of makeup that is donated from companies across the country, and we learned how to apply makeup to help us look good and feel better. I love that it is a program offered by the American Cancer Society...this means that I help make it happen. I work to help women feel better about the situation that they are in. I'm a girly girl, I like makeup, and I think I'm pretty good at it, but when faced with losing hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc...women can use this extra support. WE had fun in the session, joked around, and enjoyed the evening. It is great to know that a program like this exists and it is free to anyone facing the side effects of cancer. Jenn doesn't wear makeup, had chemo during the day, and still came to the session.
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| Look Good Feel Better kit that each woman receives. |
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| Some of the makeup in the kit. |
My experience with Look Good...Feel Better (LGFB) came in handy later in the week. As you mat remember I agreed to be the "model" for ACS and LGFB for Windy City Live. That means I have agreed to have a before photo taken of me without makeup. Clearly chemo is causing me to make CRAZY decisions. I woke up extra early on Thursday, Oct. 18 and headed downtown Chicago to be on the morning tv show. For those of you not in the Chicagoland area, Windy City Live (WCL) is the show that took over the 9 AM slot on ABC7 when Oprah went off the air. A daytime talk show that focuses on all things Chicago, celebrities, pop news, etc. There are two hosts and a variety of others that contribute to the entertainment. Val and Ryan are the main hosts of the show. Both have great energy and Ryan is adorable. ACS has been offered the opportunity to have a small breast cancer segment on the show. I was simply supposed to "model", but had the opportunity to speak. Fortunately, I did not make a complete fool of myself while speaking, but the before photo is worse than any mug shot! I really don't think that I look as badly as they made me look! Well...I certainly hope that I don't! I posted the link to the video on Facebook and everyone was so kind! The running theme of comments revolved around Ryan and how handsome he is. And many of you commented that he was "flirting with me". He is VERY good at his job and he was very kind. Ryan held the door open for me when I arrived...he saw me bald and without makeup. I think he was shocked to see the transformation that took place when Traci did my makeup and Zara was added. BUT I assure you that he was not flirting. Oh how I wish flirting has happened in my life over the past 5 months. I haven't had a date since May!!! Bald, cancer, and dating don't seem to be a great combination in my life. Here is a link to the video...IGNORE the before photo!!! http://windycitylive.com/episodes/Making-Strides-in-Breast-Cancer/8851740
And here are some pictures from the show.
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| ACS volunteers and staff with the Windy City Live team after the show. |
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| Getting interviewed by Ryan! |
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Ann getting interviewed by Ryan.
Ryan came out to the lobby to talk with us after the show. I had already taken off Zara and put on my scarf to
walk over to the office. He was so kind and offered to wait while I put my wig back on.
My wig is crooked because I put it on by looking in the window in the lobby. :)
He gave me a big hug and wished me luck with everything.
 Some of my Work WE!!! Team lunch and outing. Staci's last day with us...I hate goodbyes. After getting to the city early for WCL I headed home early to miss traffic because I was exhausted...several accidents on the roads made it a 2.5 hour drive. :( |
I've done more this week than I have in a month! Long days, late nights, etc. The fun isn't over though! Saturday has been planned for months. We have a big group heading to the Northwestern vs Nebraska game. I've been looking forward to this for months. The date was planned around my chemo. Cindi and I looked at the dates to see where we thought a game would work and Oct. 20 was chosen. Last year we went with just the girls from college, but they are bringing all the husbands this year and I am bringing Eric. It is a crisp and beautiful fall day. Gina, Jim, Kim, Bryan, Eric and I head to Evanston to meet up with Jeff and Cindi who have set up the tailgate...we leave Joliet a little after 8 AM...for a late afternoon game. I am nervous about the day before I even leave my house. It's going to be long day and I am afraid that I will not have the energy to make it. I went to bed extra early last night, but that doesn't mean I will be able to last for 12 - 15 hours with the gang. BUT we had so much fun. The Cliff Notes version...bloody mary's, more Nebraska fans than Northwestern fans, a see of red, purple skinny jeans on me and Cindi, cold in the shade but beautiful in the sun, Garrett's popcorn, Jim almost got arrested because of Garrett's popcorn (Chicago mix, of course), Emma cheering, my energy died in the 3rd quarter, neuropathy in my feet made it hard to walk, Cats lost :(, Zara came off when we got back to the car, Three Floyd's beers....basically a great day with wonderful friends. Memories that will last a lifetime. Girlfriends from college that have become family! I was pretty much down for the count when we got back to the car, but I am so thankful that Cindi and Jeff planned a fun day of football and friends. Almost 23 years of being friends with these amazing women! How did I get so lucky? Wait...how did we get so old??? It doesn't seem like we can be that many years out of college...YIKES!!!
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| Mary and Kim...Go CATS! |
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| Bryan, Jim, Eric, and Mary...post "Garrett Gate" |
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| Gina & Eric...Go CATS! |
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| Me and Jim...Go CATS! |
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| Gina saying a prayer that Jim doesn't get arrested...Go CATS! |
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| Cindi, Me, Mary, Gina, and Kimmie...look at all that purple! Go CATS! Do I dare admit that I didn't recognize myself in my wig? YIKES! |
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| After the game. Finally got the gang together for a group picture. Sad loss for the Cats! Ken & Kerri, Jim & Gina, Chris & Mary, Jeff & Cindi, Bryan & Kim, Eric and me. |
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| Go Cats! |
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| Emma cheering! GO CATS! |
Sunday afternoon is spent cheering the boys on at flag football. It is probably one of the last nice weekends of fall. I'm tired and my feet hurt, but I LOVE this time of year.
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| Maxwell playing flag football in his pink socks for breast ancer awareness. |
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| Jackson watching Maxwell play football. |
Sunday evening is spent celebrating Emma's 11th birthday. The kids get taller by the second, have bigger feet than I do, and make me laugh. I may not be blessed with children of my own, but I am blessed with many great kids in my life. They teach me so much!
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| Making a birthday wish. |
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| A girl and her cake! |
I hope you have a great week!
XOXO,
S
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