Get out of my head..clearly I mean FUN or Fantastic, or Frank! Ok, you probably know me a little better than that by now.
The weekend is finally upon us. Just a few hours of work stand between me and MANY hours in bed. Yep, livin' the single life to its fullest. Yesterday was chemo and today I will NOT be getting my Neulasta shot. So, I have high hopes that I will be feeling well most of the weekend, but I have chosen to make very few plans. Actually, I've realized that any plans I have made since June 22 would actually be written in pencil if I used a paper calendar. Fortunately, there is a delete button on the iPhone & iPad, so plan can easily be erased. Cancer and plans do not typically travel well together unless the plans are to get chemo, go to the doctor, have surgery, etc. Medical plans are written in magic marker. Probably that same permanent marker the Dr. "Doogie Hauser" used on my to outline my port when I had my emergency trip to the hospital. All other plans tend to be "game time decisions" that happen as the time gets closer.
Speaking of game time..tonight begins football season in Joliet. High school football, that is. If you're from the Joliet area and attended private schools, tonight is the BIG night! Joliet Catholic plays Providence Catholic in the opening game of the season. Fortunately, the game is being televised, so the plan is to head to Kim's house with snacks, order dinner, relax, and watch the game while all the kids swim. Kim, Steph, Gina, and I are all together and their kids take a few dips in the pool and then play in the house. We stayed out for a few minutes, but decided that it is best for my health to keep away from mosquitoes and West Niles disease. So, we hung out at the in the kitchen for a while eating too much junk food. One thing never changes when we are all together...too much food, a over-sized cookie with extra frosting, and Jewel taco dip. All of the worlds problems could be solved with cookies and taco dip! Well, they have helped to solve many of ours over the years. As my body began to hurt from chemo we moved to the kitchen table and then to the couch. Chemo is beginning to take its toll on me and my joints & bones are starting to hurt. And let's not even mention the throat sores. So, my evening with the girls had to come to an end. Not because my mind was ready, but because my body was ready.
I wish that sleep came easily to me, but that is not the case. Regardless of how tired I am I simply can not fall asleep and the pain in my throat simply continues to get worse. For some reason my throat hurts more when I am trying to rest in bed. Around 3 AM my coughing and throat pain is so out of control that I get sick...not from being sick to my stomach, but from coughing too hard. I need sleep tonight because I have an early morning.
Saturday starts off bright and early, for me. Today I am volunteering to help at the Theresa Lang Memorial 5K that has been organized by TM Martial Arts. I had planned on running the event months ago, but now I will simply do my best to help. After a rough night with little sleep I only hope that I can last for an hour or so. Today is not only about the 5K. Today is about my TMMA family. It is about Theresa and celebrating the life of a good person who would have turned 30 today. Today was a day that people from all levels of fitness came together to support a family that lost a loved one and friends that will never forget her smile.
It was emotional to see everyone that I had not seen in a couple of month. A lot of hugs, some tears, and many laughs. Even a couple of cherry cake donuts that were to to the side for me from Heather. The same donuts that were my dinner later on today. I had the pleasure of working the finish line and handing out water to all that crossed...well, most that crossed because it was just too hot for me to stay out there for the entire time. I also had the opportunity to talk to a friend who has a friend that is currently fighting his own battle with cancer. Sadly, there are just too many cancer stories out there.
I stayed a little longer to visit with Bill, Suzanne and their friend Mike. And then I knew it was time to head home to rest. I said a few good-byes, but mostly I just snuck off to my car. I love seeing my TMMA family, but I miss them all on a daily basis.
My afternoon is spent napping and then baking. The Fire Department's picnic is this weekend and I wanted to support Eric and all the work that they do for Easter Seals. I had planned om staying in tonight, but Eric sent a text to stop by and said it was a beautiful night. It takes only minutes for me to get ready, so I throw on some clothes, put on Zara and head to St. Joe's to listen to the band. It was a beautiful night and it was great to see some friendly faces. I love seeing everyone, but I have a difficult time with conversations this quickly after chemo. I lose my train of thought, I can't think of words, I can't remember names, etc. I'm just not myself. I try to stick close to Eric, but he's like the town Mayor and he's off in every direction. I talked for a while, took about two sips of a beer, and then decided that it was time to head home. Things I thought about tonight before I went to bed...I've only worn my wig a couple of times, I am giving a ton of hugs these days, and I miss beautiful summer nights out. Oh how I miss my "normal". But at least I left the house for an hour or so.
Sunday comes in like a lion with pain in the night, but it is manageable in the morning. The pain is not the same kind I have had in the past, but it is a nagging discomfort. My legs, arms, and mostly hips are sore. The kind of sore that makes it hard to stand too long, hurts to sit, etc. More like my joints and bones are mad at me from doing too much, but let's face it I haven't worked out in ages. I start the day baking chocolate zucchini bread, responding to emails, and attempting to write thank you notes. I will NEVER get caught up on thank you notes. I promise I'm trying. Then back to bed for a nap. It's a rainy, miserable day. Perfect for napping, but depressing for the second day of the Fire Department picnic. I try to rest, but I feel badly for Eric and all the work he has put into the weekend that is now getting rained out. Softball games cancelled, bands getting moved inside, petting zoo getting stuck in their truck, etc. I packed up some of the bakery, put on Zara, and headed to the picnic to see if he needs help. I had high hopes that the rain would stop for Eric, but no such luck. I guess the rain is a little like my cancer...it takes plans that were made and completely throws you for a loop. It makes you move to plan B even when you're not ready. And no matter how frustrating it is, how sad you may be, you simply move forward.
I was able to visit with Kelly for a little while, eat a "smoky" up against the concession stand, actually learn what a "smokie" is, hang with Eric, and then head home. I rainy day, but not all lost. Still laughs, food, and friends...the simple things in life that make a world of difference. Even on a rainy Sunday.
I'm craving chicken and dumplings, but I really don't have the energy to go to the store. It looks like it will be a cheese and crackers kind of night...and early to bed kind of night.
Sleep well!
XOXO,
S
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| Jenny, Steph and me! Theresa Lang Memorial 5 K. |
If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society. Nobody should face cancer alone. http://www.cancer.org/ or 800.227.2345. 24 hours a day 365 days a year. WE are here to help.
Thank you for following. I will keep your grandfather in my thoughts. Be well.
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