October 5, 2012
It's the Friday before the Chicago Marathon. That means that more than 45,000 runners are embarking on Chicago for the weekend. They will have friends and family cheering them on as they take on 26.2 miles. YES...26.2 miles. That's one of those things in life that I will never understand...how do you talk your body and mind into taking on the task of 26.2?? I get stressed with a mile and a half. I think I could do a 5K and maybe even a 10K if I could actually learn how to breathe properly, but I don't believe that I have the mentality of a marathon runner. However, I do like a great party! So I will be heading downtown for the ACS DetermiNation Team Dinner tonight, but first I have to make it through the day of work.
I'm starting off pretty rough this morning. Chemo was yesterday and morning seem to get more difficult each day. A far cry from years of getting up at the crack of dawn to go to workout. Now mornings are spent in bed until the last minute before I need to get things done. I have been feeling pretty well the day after chemo, but today appears to be different. I'm tired and neuropathy seems to be setting in each day. I experienced pretty bad neuropathy during my first battle and it seems to be coming on even stronger with this second fight.
Chemotherapy often causes neuropathy in patients. It usually starts in the hands and/or feet and creeps up the arms and legs. Sometimes it feels like a tingling or numbness. Other times, it’s more of a shooting and/or burning pain or sensitivity to temperature. It can include sharp, stabbing pain, and it can make it difficult to perform normal day-to-day tasks like buttoning a shirt, sorting coins in a purse, or walking. An estimated 30 to 40 percent of cancer patients treated with chemotherapy experience these symptoms, a condition called chemotherapy-induced peripheral neuropathy (CIPN). The Taxotere that I am taking is the primary cause of the neuropathy that I am experiencing. I have high hopes that it will go away after treatment, but it may take sometime to get the sensation back and the pain out of my hands, arms, feet, and legs. It is a discomfort that is hard to explain. It makes walking painful, writing messy, typing full of mistakes, and my body tends to get stiff when I sit or stand too long. The timing could not be worse this weekend! I have the dinner tonight and a 5K walk for Making Strides Against Breast Cancer on Sunday. C'mon body...I've got things to do!
My day is a typical day at work...conference calls, projects, etc. I receive a delivery of Neupogen at my house. It is great to get the shots delivered to my home. My Dad has offered to give them to me for the next 14-20 days. The package only has 7 days because that is all that my insurance will cover at a time and apparently the shits have a shelf life. The plan is to get shots daily at 9AM. Dad will stop by, give me my shot, then head off on his way. Pretty simple, but I'm not sure that my arm is up for it. I receive my first shot today and while I love my dad dearly, his shot giving skills have caused the most pain. High hopes that it will only get better over the next many days. The pain turns to smiles when I have a couple of cupcakes delivered to the door by Kelly Doyle Duewel from high school. She was in town visiting her grandma and made a stop by my house. I missed seeing her, but the cupcakes are delish!
After work I head to the city to enjoy the marathon team dinner. I am meeting Kevin, Mark, and Christine Kickels. Kev has been a good friend since college, Mark is his brother, and Christine is Mark's wife, but I am friends/family with all of them. Many years of Kickels fun have been had by all. I'm really excited that Christine decided to come to the DetermiNation Team Dinner. She is running the marathon in my honor and raising funds for the American Cancer Society...she has already raised over $1800!!! Amazing work for someone who chose to take on the challenge late and just started fundraising. I really want her to have a solid understanding of what ACS does and the powerful messages that will be delivered tonight. I want her to see the impact that she is making on the fight against this disease.
I arrive early to help the DNation team set up for the event. I'm not a great help because I'm slow moving, but they are a part of my Work WE. More importantly they are friends so I want to help to the best of my ability. Big hugs from Michelle & Keri! Ann is showing off my photo shoot pictures on her iPad...I feel like she is a proud Mom with the kids' school pictures. Ted is running around setting up. Elizabeth is making sure that the hotel staff are doing what is needed. Bowles has colored his hair red. This part of my work WE is so much fun and the volunteers are amazing.
Kevin, Marko, and Christine arrive. They grab cocktails, decorate Christine's ACS singlet, and then we head to our seats. My friend/Work WE Anna joins us. The room is freezing, but I'm excited for the night. I have a few minutes to talk to Adrienne from ACS. I need to thank her for helping me find Dr. Robinson and I need to wish her luck with her future endeavors. She has chosen to leave the ACS as we go through national transformation. She will truly be missed by the organization. She is talented and well respected. I'll miss her as a patient that needed help and she was there. My table proceeds to take some pictures and chat. I brought flowers for Christine and a basil plant for Anna. She leads a sustainable lifestyle so I didn't want to get her cut flowers. We then relax and wait for the presentations to begin and the high carb dinner to take place.
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| Keri, me, and Elizabeth. We were told that he was just "testing the lighting" and not really taking pictures! Well played, Mark. Well played! |
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| We are only drinking Dt. Coke. All drinks were served in wine glasses. |
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| Mark, Christine, me, and Kev. |
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| Me & Christine! |
After dinner there were some great speakers. Ira is a cancer survivor and sadly lost his wife on many years to cancer. He told about how dark life had become when he lost his wife, but he also told the amazing story of starting to run with his son and deciding to become a DetermiNation runner to raise funds for the ACS and the fight against a disease that has impacted his life so greatly. A man who took a terrible life experience and made a positive out of it. His son, daughter-in-law, and daughter were all in the crowd. He runs for himself, he runs for his family, he runs for the love of his life that is no longer here, he runs for his daughter that has both the the BRCA genes that have the potential to cause cancer. When he was done with his story the stage was taken by a young caregiver, mother, and wife....Lisa. She appears to be younger than I am. Her husband has cancer and is fighting for his life. He's endured surgeries, rehab, and today was the first day that he walked a few steps without crutches. She is running the marathon that has impacted her best friend, husband, father the her three boys, and every part of her life. She's eloquent and amazing.
I listened to both tell their stories with tears running down my face. I'm not feeling great from chemo and my emotions are running especially high tonight. Next up is Adrienne. She speaks about the ACS, the importance of the funds that are being raised, how far we have come in the fight against cancer, and how amazing all of the people in the room are. Then a Lindsey takes the stage with her guitar. She is from the Old Town School of music and is a caregiver to her husband. She sings/plays "Home" by Phillip Phillips. She's powerful...the song is powerful. One of those songs that has really hit me hard this battle with cancer. The words just remind me that I'm not alone. While she sings there is a slide show of pictures and quotes from runners that talk about why they are running the marathon and raising funds to fight cancer. To be honest, I thought I needed to leave the room to cry, but I held on and stayed strong. Tears flew down my face, but not the sobbing that I felt like doing.
Awards were given, Michelle did a great job on stage, and then the night came to an end. I was emotionally drained and exhausted at this point. I gave Anna a hug and told her that her Dad would be by her side through the entire 26.2. He lost his battle with cancer, but his memory will be alive and well with Anna as she runs in his honor. Then I turned to Christine for a hug. A hug that lasted a long time and we both cried. It was powerful and I couldn't choke out the right words to thank her. I cry as I type this because I can't put into words how thankful I am for her decision to run the marathon in my honor and to raise funds for the fight against this disease. Christine was already registered and running the race. She could have just as easily ran 26.2 like she has many times before. Instead she has chosen to join the forces of the other 900+ marathon runners that are on the ACS DetermiNation Team. She found her extraordinary...her reason is personal...she is AMAZING!
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| Want to find your extraordinary? Click on the links below and watch quick clips about the ACS DetermiNation program. |
Cancer has become my marathon and so many have chosen to run it with me. Tonight was another reminder that I am lucky. I may have cancer, but it doesn't have me or the many people that I have in my corner! The ride home from the city gave me time to continue to count my blessings, to reflect on my life, and realize that I'm exhausted and ready for rest.
Off to bed with a painkiller in hand. Sleep well!
XOXO!
S
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| At the table beginning the night. |
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| Kevin, Christine & Mark. |
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| Me and Christine with our marathon bracelets! |
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| Me & Anna Banana |
The American Cancer Society DetermiNation program will help you do the
unthinkable, achieve what seems impossible, and change the course of cancer
forever. With access to professional training, an unparalleled community of
support, and inspiration every step of the way, the American Cancer Society will
help you finish a half-marathon, marathon, or triathlon. Your personal race
victory will change your life, but the finish line will be just the beginning.
Because your triumph also means a triumph over cancer - where every step you
take and every mile you conquer will create a world with less cancer and more
birthdays. For more information visit http://www.cancer.org/involved/participate/determination/index
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