"To Be Yourself in a World that is Constantly Trying to Make You Something Else is the Greatest Accomplishment." Emerson - October 1, 2012

"I believe in pink. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and...I believe in miracles."

October 1, 2012

Welcome to Pink-tober! I LOVE the color pink, but October takes it to a level that brings out every shade of pink and tons of products that slap on a pink ribbon. Pink ribbons have become trendy over the years. You can pretty much get something with a pink ribbon on it in any store. And let's face it I'm a sucker for a lot of the stuff out there, but there are a million things to think of outside of the "stuff". I appreciate the fact that breast cancer has taken on a life of its own in October. I appreciate the fact that awareness is every where you look. BUT I hope that with awareness you all decide to take ACTION against a disease that will impact many lives. More importantly, I hope you are taking action for your overall health. Your health should be your #1 priority and it should not only be a focus during a month that has been dedicated to type of cancer. My guess is that the majority of you reading this are female and near or over the age of 40. Have you gotten your yearly check-up and mammogram?? Have you all encouraged others to do a self exam or get a mammogram? Are you being an advocate for your health? I implore you to do so.

Today was a normal day at work. I'm finally feeling as though I recovered from the past couple of weeks. It a few days before my 5th round of chemo and I typically feel best the week of chemo. It is a little ironic that the few days before chemo are the days that I feel best. Just in time for a little dose of poison. After work I get a massage from Kim and then head home to work, blog, and relax. I'm excited to see that Joy has posted a few pictures from the photo shoot yesterday. She's Jimmy John's fast! The pictures are BEAUTIFUL!! I hope that doesn't sound like I'm full of myself, but they are beautiful and she is skilled! To be honest, it is hard to believe that they turned out as great as they did. I've embraced being bald, I love a bald man, and tonight I was able to see that bald is beautiful on me. I cried when I saw the first picture and the tears continued to fall as I looked at the others. Four simple pictures that have empowered me more than I would have thought. In addition to the pictures I am empowered by the "likes" and comments on the posts. The response is nothing short of amazing! I've embraced the situation to the best of my ability and now others are continuing to do the same.

The first picture posted was with me and Zara. Cindi made me do a "bad ass look" for the picture and I actually stopped laughing long enough for Joy to get a shot. Really, I don't do bad ass. I love this picture, but I couldn't wait to see a picture where I am bald.

My "bad ass" look.  

Joy had a crazy idea to do a photo that would mirror a Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's. At that point in the photo session I had gotten pretty tired and was fighting the urge to stop. Not that I wanted to stop, but I feared that they would put so much effort into pictures that would not turn out well because I', not feeling all that great. Joy explained how I should pose and I simply couldn't process it in my mind. The deer in the headlights look was at the highest during this part. And yet I see the side by side picture and can't believe my eyes. I'm tearing up now just thinking about the picture. She even picked a quote that suits me so well. This girl does believe in pink, being strong, being happy, and I believe in miracles!

The third picture posted is me with my new pink wig...watch out Zara! Just a fun shot that wasn't planned. I brought the wig to show Cindi to make sure that it wasn't too obnoxious for Sunday's Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event.

Watch out Zara you just might be replaced!

And finally one with my pink boxing gloves. Gloves that I miss wearing three days a week at kickboxing. Gloves that I had to put in the basement so that I didn't see them in my car as a reminder that I can't do something that I love. Gloves that were last worn when I had to put my membership on hold until I recover...they continue to stink from months of use, they still fit, and they are waiting patiently until I get the all clear to go back to my regular workouts.

Missing kickboxing daily!

After the pictures were all posted the comments kept coming. One of the comments that sits with me is from a friend, Sandy. She is also a cancer survivor. She mentions that she wishes she had the "outrage to go without her wig." Sandy, please know that I never went without my wig or a hat the last time around. I didn't have the courage to do so. My first wig, Chloe, was my safety net. This time I have gained my strength to "bare it all" from the people in my life and the fact that we had one of the hottest summers on record! It was just too miserable outside to wear a wig! I also realized that everyone got used to me being bald pretty quickly. The hardest person to accept the baldness was ME.

Many comments have been made about me being brave. Please know that you are ALL just as brave and you ALL have the ability to face any challenge that comes into your life. We may do things differently, but we all do what is the right thing for us. Bald seems right for me now, but I still don't often go out without my scarf, hat, or Zara. While bald works for me it causes a lot of people to stare or take a double look. I look forward to the day that women can walk down the street with their beautiful bald heads AND do it as naturally as a man!

Another cool thing that came from of the pictures are request to share with others. A request that I say "yes" to immediately. There is only one condition and so far everyone has accepted the challenge...the pictures can be shared if used to encourage others to be aware of their health, get a mammogram, or ask others to do so...or anything of that nature.

Not a day has gone by that I haven't smiled, but today my heart shines extra bright!

Sleep well!

XOXO,

Sue

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