Why Do I Have a Million Places I Want to Go When I'm Stuck at Home? - September 6, 2012

"My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can." - Cary Grant

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Up early to get my shot. Seriously, I like routine but not when it involves shots. My body hurts like I have the flu and my arm hurts from already getting 3 shots. I head to Amy and Don's but decide to get their kids donuts for the morning. They are helping me with shots so I can at least help by giving extra sugar to the kids :). I also grabbed cherry cake donuts an chocolate milk for me. The kids are so cute when I get there. I adore these kids and have always thought of them as family. Kids that I have enjoyed watching grow up and develop their own great personalities. Andrew ad Allison are just getting up, but Ashley opened the door with all smiles. It was funny when Andrew saw the donuts and thought it was Sunday because they are usually their Sunday breakfast. We chatted for a bit and then Amy gave me the shot and we were able to use my personal hazardous materials box. Ok, I'm a little obsessed with the fact that I have it. I may have to bedazzle it to make it cuter. I must invest in a bedazzler. While we were chatting Andrew went upstairs to get a hat like the Cubs hat I was wearing. Too darn sweet! I still can't understand everything the little guy is saying, but his smile is bigger than any words.

I spent about 20 minutes outside of the house today. It is my favorite time of year and I am home bound trying to stay healthy. I worked for a few hours, napped for a little and then heard the doorbell ring. I was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face at the door, but embarrassed at the fact that I look rough because I'm just not feeling well. Mary Jane, a friend from high school, has stopped by my house. I haven't seen her in years, but she is a part of what has become my Facebook WE. She is as kind and sweet as she was in high school. She had just finished getting a massage from my friend Kim and decided to be kind enough to get a certificate for a massage for me. Completely a random act of kindness that I did not expect. I'm overwhelmed with her kindness. I want to hug her so badly, but I can't take the risk. Plus, she's a teacher...too many germs to be had there. Thank you, Mary Jane. I only hope that I will have the opportunity to repay all those that have been so kind during this journey.

The shots and chemo are taking their toll and kicking my butt these days but I can't help but smile when I think of my life and all the amazing people I know. Cancer sucks, but it also brings out kindness and love.

I had another visitor at the front door shortly after Mary Jane left. This time it is Pam (Rob stays in the car) and she has brought me mac n cheese. I've declined every one's offers to bring food, but I simply could not resist homemade mac n cheese. I'm on a comfort food kick! She has a large container of the mac n cheese, cookies made with chickpeas (I love chickpeas), and a very sweet card that she has made. I love the talent that people have with making cards. More importantly I appreciate the patience you all have for making things. We stood on the porch and chatted for a while. Her son is getting married, Rob and her daughter ran the Shorewood Scoot today, we talked about our battles with cancer and the side effects from the disease. She is so kind to me.

I then blogged a bit, took another nap, talked on the phone with Mary for a long time, ate mac n cheese, blogged, worked, and went to bed. Yep, livin' the life on a Saturday night. It is a beautiful night and I'm getting into a funk from spending too much time at home alone. I hate that cancer is making me stay home, keeping me from doing normal things. Too many hours alone plays havoc on my mind. I keep thinking about the chemo and worrying that it is not actually working. I worry that my battle will not be as short as I have planned. I'm worried that cancer will take my life. There's so much that I still want to do. So much that I NEED to do. The world is moving on and my world is stuck on hold. It's like I'm standing still and everyone is moving past me. There's not a day I don't think it has spread, but days stuck at home allow my mind to take over the bad in the battle.

Tomorrow is another day...still trying to take one day at a time.

Sleep well. XOXO,

Sue

BORED...and looking icky!  ;)  Stuck in the house.

Mac n Cheese, chickpea chocolate chip cookies and a note from Pam

If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society.  Nobody should face cancer alone.   http://www.cancer.org/  or 800.227.2345.   24 hours a day 365 days a year. 

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