Laughter left the house for most of the day today. I got up early to catch up on work, straighten the house, shower, etc. In order to shower I had to remove the long, tight bandage that was wrapped around my chest. I tend to get light headed when these come off, so I took my time. Loosened it, worked for an hour or so, loosened it some more, worked some more...thought I didn't all just right! Well, not so much. I climbed in the shower and just about as quickly I was on the shower floor... Crying, dizzy, fragile, leaning against the wall praying that my parents would stop by and just scoop me up and make things better. Dad stops by daily and usually before 9am, but must have been busy that day. I didn't run out of hot water and I finally pulled myself up and out. I tried to get comfy and focus on work. There's so much to do and I needed "normal". So, I worked and worked... Mom and dad each came over. Mom started cleaning, dad sat down and talked. I simply just kept saying I need to focus on work and I'll feel better. Next thing I know, mom discovered that my dryer was broke and the conversation just kept focusing on a stupid dryer... A dryer that made me cry harder than when I heard I had cancer again... the dryer was the straw that broke this camel's back. Really?!?!? Who cries over a dryer???...this girl did. Let's face it, the dryer wasn't the problem, the problem was that everything seemed to be coming down at once...I could handle the big things, but couldn't even begin to think about the fact that my towel would be wet.
Dad said do you need us to leave, I said yes. Dad left, mom stayed and cleaned... I focused on work and craved my time alone. I love being alone and I have hardly been alone in days. Please, I simply need my space. Well, mom decided to take my clothese home to dry everything and then return them later... Finally, alone time. Work can continue to be completed and I can try to gain some "normal". Well... There's a knock at the door around 5:30ish... Stephanie and a 6 pack of cherry cake donuts from Homecut...my favorite! Had to let her in! We chatted for a longtime and while I was tired, it was good to have a little "normal" and a cherry cake donut (or two)!!! What would I do without all of the amazing people in my life????? Steph headed out and I thought I'd get some more work done.
XOXO,
S
Bound and swollen after surgery! :(
If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society. Nobody should face cancer alone. http://www.cancer.org/ or 800.227.2345. 24 hours a day 365 days a year. WE are here for you.
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