Jumping Ahead 10 Days...

Sorry that this is jumping ahead by about 10 days...I promise I will fill in the blanks at some point.

Today has been the hardest so far and it is not even 7 AM...no sleep, no food, and a TON of tears...actually, I just can't stop crying.  Waiting for the xanax to kick in, but I may not be that lucky.  It all becomes a reality today.  There's no turning back, there's no waking up and thinking it has all been a bad dream...I am leaving for Loyola to get my port, see my oncologist, and then start chemo cocktails.  I've tried to be strong through all of this, well at least in front of others...I just don't think I can gather up that strength today.  It isn't the fear of the unknown, it is the fear of the known.  As Kixs would say, "this ain't my first rodeo" this will be my second time getting chemo...he'd also say "sprinkle the infield"...I'd rather be sitting at a bar having the infield sprinkled, but instead I am having a "nice aged port" or a martini "cocktail" of a different kind today.  Please give me the strength to stop the tears, hold my head high, and make it through the longest day...

Much love!

S


If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society.  Nobody should face cancer alone.   http://www.cancer.org/  or 800.227.2345.   24 hours a day 365 days a year.  WE are here for you.
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11 comments:

  1. Chris AthertonJuly 11, 2012 at 8:41 AM

    The absolute utmost prayers are heading up for you - for strength, for health, for sanity, for the tears to turn into something that makes you laugh to whittle away the day....I cannot imagine the toughness in finding that happy spot today. You WILL beat this, you WILL prevail...you are strong, you are wonderful, you are YOU, Sue Ward! And WE are ALL here for YOU!

    Bless you!
    Chris

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    1. Sue WardJuly 23, 2012 at 10:17 AM

      Thanks, Chris! I LOVE your energy and appreciate your support!

      Delete
  2. KristieJuly 11, 2012 at 1:35 PM

    You have so many people rooting and sending good juju your way today. I hope you can feel it. Stay strong!

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  3. ToniJuly 11, 2012 at 8:10 PM

    Keep your chin up Sue! You will not only beat this, you will come out even stronger than before. Wipe those tears away and put on that dynamite smile of yours...Cancer ain't got nothing on you girlfriend! I have seen you work a bag! Here for you day or night. XOXO Toni

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  4. Tracy SJuly 11, 2012 at 10:14 PM

    Two more hours and you will have gotten through today! and you will get through tomorrow! And the next day too! you are one of the most amazing women I know....you can accomplish anything! In a pair of 3 inch heels and with perfect lipstick I might add! You can do this!

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    1. Sue WardJuly 23, 2012 at 10:18 AM

      Miss you, Tracy!! The 3 inch heels will be on hold, but I have plenty of lipstick to put on! Hugs!

      Delete
  5. EmilyJuly 12, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    I wish the agenda for your day yesterday went something like....wakeup, go to your kickboxing class, work, scan pinterest for awesome things to whip up in the kitchen, and then go to work in the kitchen to reward yourself for a hard days work. No one should ever had a day like you had to have today. Know that so many people are thinking about you. EP

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    1. Sue WardJuly 23, 2012 at 10:19 AM

      Oh Emily, how I wish your agenda listed above were the ones I have each day! Miss you! Congrats on the GREAT news!!!

      Delete
  6. Adrian StoddardDecember 5, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    I've known your dad for some time. He told me of your cancer returning. Loved your blog about him being your prince! He truly is. Our family is fighting a cancer battle also. We are keeping you & your family in our prayers. Stay strong. You're a beautiful young lady inside & out.

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