My Work WE is AWESOME! - July 12, 2012

"I may not be Wonder Woman, but I can do things that make you "WONDER"


I hardly slept last night because I couldn't get comfortable after surgery.  Tossing and turning...tossing and turning.  All while watching Law & Order.  My years of insomnia would not be the same without Law & Order.  Up early today and getting ready for work.  You only get so many FMLA days, so I don't want to use them unless I really need them.  I'm not feeling too badly, but I'm exhausted.  Many days I work from home, but today I have to be in my Chicago office for meetings.  I still have a good sized bandage from surgery, so it takes me forever to decide what to wear, plus I want to be comfy all day.  Traffic is terrible heading in to the city.  I thought about taking the train, but I didn't want to deal with the germs....I need to stay healthy.  I thought I was feeling ok until I was stuck in the car for the drive.  Finally, I'm at the office.  I was a nervous wreck walking in the door.  What would people say?  How would they act?  How would I act?  Do I have the energy to be here?  Can I form a sentence that makes sense?  Of course, I was over thinking the process.  The majority of people that are on our team work remotely, so we don't see each other that often.  Staci is the only one that I have seen since the debacle began.  Lot's of "how are you feeling?", "you look good", "hey, good to see you."  Of course, everyone was as kind as could be.  I didn't take a pain killer before I arrived because I had to drive, but I took one shortly after I got to the office.


We quickly got to work in meetings and on conference calls.  It all seemed normal.  After vacation last week and a few days off for surgeries, chemo, etc.  I feel out of the loop on all that is happening, but I'll try to get up to speed quickly.  My co-workers have picked up extra projects and helped me so much.  I feel badly for adding work to their loads.  We had our team meeting and then it was time for lunch.  I was feeling pretty good...nobody had really mentioned my cancer yet.  I may just get out of here without too much emotion.  Well...not so fast.  Ann stopped us before we started to grab our food.  She said we just have one more thing that we need to do...her voice cracked and her eyes filled a bit.  Deep breath...deep breath...no eye contact...no eye contact...too late...she hardly had a word out of her mouth and I started crying.  I almost made it to lunch today without any tears.   Ann said a few kind words and then reached down to the floor to pick up a bag.  She told me that a little bird (Staci) had told everyone that I was hoping to document this second time around and that I was considering buying a couple of items to do so.  She then said that people all over the state and from across the country and joined together to get me a "Journey Gift"...I'm crying through this whole speech...deep breaths...deep breaths...no eye contact...no eye contact.  Then Ann headed my way with the bag....I just peeked into the bag and saw that it was a iPad...this iPad that I am now blogging on.  I can't begin to tell you how overwhelming the generosity and kindness of others has been, but this "journey gift" shocked me to no end.  I couldn't even pull it out of the bag because I was shaking and crying.  I couldn't read the card there because I was too emotional to read it.  I could hardly say thank you to my team, but I tried.  I don't know how they pulled it off...people really just started finding out within the past 3 days.  And now they have given me a gift that I could never afford on my own...a gift that will allow me to find my "voice" is this experience, a gift that I can easily carry on days that my laptop is too heavy.  A gift that will continue to give long after my journey is over.  An electronic get well card was also sent around to all, printed off, and is amazing.  I think I was numb the rest of the day...I don't know how to thank a group of people that mean the world to me...they are all AWESOME!!!  ;)  


The day was long and emotional.  Traffic was not terrible going home so I met Jeff and Cindi for dinner at Truth.  Not too much because my stomach didn't appear to be wanting to agree with me.  Then home for bed...well, not so quick...time to get sick.  I think I overdid things today...tried too hard for normal.  I sat on the bed and cried while reading the card that everyone had signed...how did I get so lucky to have this many people who care in my simple little life?  Do I deserve this many wonderful people?  I played with the iPad for a few minutes...very few because I wasn't feeling well and because I'm not as smart as the iPad just yet, but I have slept with it in my bed every night since that night and Frank thinks it is his pillow.


The outpouring of love has been nothing short of AMAZING!!  I have great people in my life, even some that I don't know all that well, but WE are all fighting this damn disease together.  I'm PROUD to work for the American Cancer Society...my 3rd family.


XOXO, 


S


PS...thank you...Cyndi, Nancy, Danielle, Stephanie, LB, Judy, Frannie, Flo, Ian, Michelle, Steven, Kristina, Donna - Sweet Tea, Ted, Michelle, Mandie, Keri, Erin, Ann, Staci, Mary, Jenna, Maggie Mae, Hensley, Anna, Karli, Deb, Mary Jo, Joy, Kate, Tonda, Charlyn, Jackie, Chris, Sarah, Theresa, Debbie, Carrie, Lauren, Lynn, Dwan, Kevin, Anna, Leslie, Debbie, Michelle, Karen, Karen, Stephanie, Maggie, Sarah, JoAnn, Jamie, Meghan, Nikki, Healy, and Jay...I hope I didn't miss anyone!!  Much love to each of you.  I PROMISE you all that I will pay it forward!!!

My iPad..."It is going to be o.k.  You are going to be o.k."  The first thing I see whenever I look at it...just a little something to keep in the front of my mind.

Frank using the iPad as a pillow... I think he's jealous that he is not getting all of my attention.

If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society.  Nobody should face cancer alone.   http://www.cancer.org/  or 800.227.2345.   24 hours a day 365 days a year.  WE are here for you.