The "WE Factor" - June 25 & 26

"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see life with a clearer view again."


The tears have come and gone over the days since Friday...I keep thinking that a person has the ability to run out of tears, but it just doesn't seem to be the case.  Fortunately, I have the best family and friends to cry with, to lean on, and to help wipe my tears.  Something that I noticed from the moment that my family and friends started to learn of my new diagnosis with cancer was something that I will call the "WE Factor".   Nobody said "you will beat this"..."you can do it"...you'll be okay"...they all have said "WE will beat this"...WE can do this again"..."WE are here".  I have never once felt like I am alone in this battle.  I have an army standing strong, linked arm and arm,  and together WE will win this fight.  Mom, Dad, Chris, Steph, Gina, Kimmie, Cindi, Jeff, Eric, Frank, Henry, Kixs, my work team, and all the rest....WE Make a great team!


I recently learned that a friend fought cancer on his own last year...surgeries, treatment, nights alone, etc.  He chose to keep his battle to a very small group of people.  When he told me the story I was sad that he did not have the support that I have, but I also envied the fact that he had the strength to do it on his own.  I am glad that I don't have to fight alone, but I can't help but feel the guilt of having my friends and family face this challenge with me again.  They all have busy lives, their own challenges, and their own joys...then here I come with another bout with breast cancer.  I'm a high maintenance daughter, sister, and friend...for that, I am sorry.  I've always said that I will handle a second diagnosis better than the first time...I will keep that promise!


I decided to workout Monday morning...my last day at TMMA and my last day of kickboxing for several months.  I wasn't sure if I could make it through class or even walk in the door, but Steph made sure that she was there and was my buffer....she's just about the best buffer a girl could have and she has made sure that people know to text and not call.  She knows when to let me breath and when to push AND she also throws a FIT when my results don't come in quickly, but that's a story for another time.  I cried when I told Bridget and Tim that I needed to put my membership on hold.  Partially because I'll miss my routine of working out, but mostly because I'll miss my TMMA family and burpees...wait...NOBODY misses burpees!  Thanks to Rich (for all the hilarious texts and rumors), Suzanne & Bill for making me smile/laugh each day, Toni for your emails, the entire gang that went out and helped me feel "normal" if only for a few short minutes, Kris, Colleen, Julie, Kryz (for answering all my silly questions), Bridget, Alison, Tim....everyone.  Do some 'extra, extras' for me, but skip the ab rippers and the sweaty touching!!!  Take care of Stephanie...you kknow how shje likes to slack when I'm not there ;) and keep MY bag cold for me.  I've asked EVERY doctor if I can start kickboxing again...they all have given me "that look" and said absolutely NOT.  :(  And I am pretty sure that I will NEVER be allowed to do burpees again, bummer!


Monday also meant a MRI.  Have you heard the noise that the machine makes???  Geesh...thank God they put earplugs in my ears!!  But there is something about earplugs that allow you to get stuck in your head with thoughts and fears...I hope they wiped the tears away from the board when I left.  Next stop Dr. Marshall's office.  She had arranged for a lot of tests, but I had yet to see her in person.  She was my breast surgeon the last time around. We bonded and I did 10 years of follow-up appointments and tests with her.  She "broke-up with me on a post-it note" once I hit the 10 year mark.  Apparently, they needed to make room for others,  but she has always answered my calls and requests.  It was good to see her because I have obviously trusted her with my life, but I had hoped to just some day run into her at NASCAR or Target.   All of the scans have presented the cancer as inflammatory, but Marshall was happy to see that the skin did not appear to show that the cancer was inflammatory.  She had planned on doing a biopsy at that point, but decided to schedule surgery for Tuesday....just a little lumpectomy to test a larger piece for pathology.  So....noon tomorrow at St. Joe's.  Be there or be square!  


XOXO, 


S

I saw this photo on Pinterest and LOVED it...my brain is a little fuzzy and numb, so it is amazing to have support and WE have a great team!

If you or anyone you love is facing cancer PLEASE reach out to the American Cancer Society.  Nobody should face cancer alone.   http://www.cancer.org/  or 800.227.2345.   24 hours a day 365 days a year.  WE are here for you.